conclusions
Jun. 2nd, 2009 02:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravnsdaughterThis is something I've been thinking about for about a month or so now, maybe a bit longer, and I have finally made a decision. Conversations via email and Livejournal comment with a couple of friends and doing a bit of musing this morning made me realize something fairly major and the solution to the question appeared like a lightbulb over my head.
I'm quitting raiding. There, I said it.
I'm just not enjoying it anymore. Now that I've gotten so many other areas of my life straightened out and so much closer to where I want them to be, it's made me start thinking about the somewhat more "fluffy" areas. For example, I mean things like now that I don't have to worry about where next month's rent is coming from, I can focus on figuring out what makes me truly happy with my life instead.
I got paid yesterday, which means, as usual, my money has started burning a hole in my bank account. To prevent myself from going shopping online and wasting any, I instead went onto craigslist and browsed through the used car ads, to remind myself that I'm saving for one. That did the trick, but then I started thinking, and for some reason, had a bit of a vision of myself buying a car, bringing it home, parking it outside my house and going inside and thinking "ok, now what?" It sorta hit home the fact that once I've bought myself a car, it's not going to be the magic bullet that makes me feel fulfilled. I still want a car, but it's just brought up the fact that I need to figure out what DOES make me feel fulfilled.
So I started thinking about that. After a bunch of pondering and musing, I realized that what DOES make me feel fulfilled, is finishing a project. Making pretty things, and being able to say "yes, I made that, isn't it pretty?" And as much as I like sitting on my arse and being lazy, getting out and exercising and getting fresh air and building up a good sweat... or rather, the feeling AFTER I've done so, is fulfilling. And I'm not accomplishing either of these things by sitting on my butt and clicking buttons to kill a virtual monster doesn't do it for me anymore. It used to, but not anymore.
My health is also really becoming a priority in my life, as well, and getting a full night's sleep EVERY single night is a big part of that. And I can't do that when I raid til 10:30 or 11pm and want to be up at 5am so that I can swim or go to work early enough to be out of there before my office turns into an oven (which it starts to do around 2pm). My body requires 8 hours every night.
This is not to say that I'm quitting WoW altogether. I still enjoy playing video games... and can't spend ALL my time crafting. I'm even looking forward to trying out the Star Wars Old Republic MMO. It just means that I will no longer HAVE to be glued to the computer for hours at a time on certain days of the week.
I'll be logging on tonight to talk to an officer and let them know about my decision, though I suspect that they will ask me to help them out by raiding for a few more weeks until they are able to recruit another holy priest, and because I'm nice, I will. But I won't be going 3 days a week, that's for sure.
And with that decision made, I feel a huge weight lifting itself off of my shoulders.
I'm quitting raiding. There, I said it.
I'm just not enjoying it anymore. Now that I've gotten so many other areas of my life straightened out and so much closer to where I want them to be, it's made me start thinking about the somewhat more "fluffy" areas. For example, I mean things like now that I don't have to worry about where next month's rent is coming from, I can focus on figuring out what makes me truly happy with my life instead.
I got paid yesterday, which means, as usual, my money has started burning a hole in my bank account. To prevent myself from going shopping online and wasting any, I instead went onto craigslist and browsed through the used car ads, to remind myself that I'm saving for one. That did the trick, but then I started thinking, and for some reason, had a bit of a vision of myself buying a car, bringing it home, parking it outside my house and going inside and thinking "ok, now what?" It sorta hit home the fact that once I've bought myself a car, it's not going to be the magic bullet that makes me feel fulfilled. I still want a car, but it's just brought up the fact that I need to figure out what DOES make me feel fulfilled.
So I started thinking about that. After a bunch of pondering and musing, I realized that what DOES make me feel fulfilled, is finishing a project. Making pretty things, and being able to say "yes, I made that, isn't it pretty?" And as much as I like sitting on my arse and being lazy, getting out and exercising and getting fresh air and building up a good sweat... or rather, the feeling AFTER I've done so, is fulfilling. And I'm not accomplishing either of these things by sitting on my butt and clicking buttons to kill a virtual monster doesn't do it for me anymore. It used to, but not anymore.
My health is also really becoming a priority in my life, as well, and getting a full night's sleep EVERY single night is a big part of that. And I can't do that when I raid til 10:30 or 11pm and want to be up at 5am so that I can swim or go to work early enough to be out of there before my office turns into an oven (which it starts to do around 2pm). My body requires 8 hours every night.
This is not to say that I'm quitting WoW altogether. I still enjoy playing video games... and can't spend ALL my time crafting. I'm even looking forward to trying out the Star Wars Old Republic MMO. It just means that I will no longer HAVE to be glued to the computer for hours at a time on certain days of the week.
I'll be logging on tonight to talk to an officer and let them know about my decision, though I suspect that they will ask me to help them out by raiding for a few more weeks until they are able to recruit another holy priest, and because I'm nice, I will. But I won't be going 3 days a week, that's for sure.
And with that decision made, I feel a huge weight lifting itself off of my shoulders.
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no subject
Date: 2009-06-02 10:37 pm (UTC)I used to play D&D all the time until I found the SCA and my religion and ok, kids found soccer. Then we just didn't have time to 'play' but we spent our time doing real life stuff and found it quite fulfilling. I have stuff I want to sew, stuff I want to make, and housework I need to do... really... not write LJ or FB or Myspace... or do webpages or read books on my Kindle... I need to clean.,.. wait, can you hear me procrastinating? LOL... I have never played WOW. I did Diablo I and II and Baldur's Gate for a bit, and had fun with it, but even with Sims 2 I get so obsessed. I have to just say no to most video games, they are too addicting for me. If I am down with a broken rib or something, OK, you need to rest.... laptop gaming is good while lying down and resting/healing...
Ok I'm babbling. Get out and live your life outside of the computer. Even when I did computer games, I went to "moots" where we met some of the players face to face so we could talk, etc. It was fun to put a face to the chat name. :)