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conclusions
Jun. 2nd, 2009 02:01 pmThis is something I've been thinking about for about a month or so now, maybe a bit longer, and I have finally made a decision. Conversations via email and Livejournal comment with a couple of friends and doing a bit of musing this morning made me realize something fairly major and the solution to the question appeared like a lightbulb over my head.
I'm quitting raiding. There, I said it.
I'm just not enjoying it anymore. Now that I've gotten so many other areas of my life straightened out and so much closer to where I want them to be, it's made me start thinking about the somewhat more "fluffy" areas. For example, I mean things like now that I don't have to worry about where next month's rent is coming from, I can focus on figuring out what makes me truly happy with my life instead.
I got paid yesterday, which means, as usual, my money has started burning a hole in my bank account. To prevent myself from going shopping online and wasting any, I instead went onto craigslist and browsed through the used car ads, to remind myself that I'm saving for one. That did the trick, but then I started thinking, and for some reason, had a bit of a vision of myself buying a car, bringing it home, parking it outside my house and going inside and thinking "ok, now what?" It sorta hit home the fact that once I've bought myself a car, it's not going to be the magic bullet that makes me feel fulfilled. I still want a car, but it's just brought up the fact that I need to figure out what DOES make me feel fulfilled.
So I started thinking about that. After a bunch of pondering and musing, I realized that what DOES make me feel fulfilled, is finishing a project. Making pretty things, and being able to say "yes, I made that, isn't it pretty?" And as much as I like sitting on my arse and being lazy, getting out and exercising and getting fresh air and building up a good sweat... or rather, the feeling AFTER I've done so, is fulfilling. And I'm not accomplishing either of these things by sitting on my butt and clicking buttons to kill a virtual monster doesn't do it for me anymore. It used to, but not anymore.
My health is also really becoming a priority in my life, as well, and getting a full night's sleep EVERY single night is a big part of that. And I can't do that when I raid til 10:30 or 11pm and want to be up at 5am so that I can swim or go to work early enough to be out of there before my office turns into an oven (which it starts to do around 2pm). My body requires 8 hours every night.
This is not to say that I'm quitting WoW altogether. I still enjoy playing video games... and can't spend ALL my time crafting. I'm even looking forward to trying out the Star Wars Old Republic MMO. It just means that I will no longer HAVE to be glued to the computer for hours at a time on certain days of the week.
I'll be logging on tonight to talk to an officer and let them know about my decision, though I suspect that they will ask me to help them out by raiding for a few more weeks until they are able to recruit another holy priest, and because I'm nice, I will. But I won't be going 3 days a week, that's for sure.
And with that decision made, I feel a huge weight lifting itself off of my shoulders.
I'm quitting raiding. There, I said it.
I'm just not enjoying it anymore. Now that I've gotten so many other areas of my life straightened out and so much closer to where I want them to be, it's made me start thinking about the somewhat more "fluffy" areas. For example, I mean things like now that I don't have to worry about where next month's rent is coming from, I can focus on figuring out what makes me truly happy with my life instead.
I got paid yesterday, which means, as usual, my money has started burning a hole in my bank account. To prevent myself from going shopping online and wasting any, I instead went onto craigslist and browsed through the used car ads, to remind myself that I'm saving for one. That did the trick, but then I started thinking, and for some reason, had a bit of a vision of myself buying a car, bringing it home, parking it outside my house and going inside and thinking "ok, now what?" It sorta hit home the fact that once I've bought myself a car, it's not going to be the magic bullet that makes me feel fulfilled. I still want a car, but it's just brought up the fact that I need to figure out what DOES make me feel fulfilled.
So I started thinking about that. After a bunch of pondering and musing, I realized that what DOES make me feel fulfilled, is finishing a project. Making pretty things, and being able to say "yes, I made that, isn't it pretty?" And as much as I like sitting on my arse and being lazy, getting out and exercising and getting fresh air and building up a good sweat... or rather, the feeling AFTER I've done so, is fulfilling. And I'm not accomplishing either of these things by sitting on my butt and clicking buttons to kill a virtual monster doesn't do it for me anymore. It used to, but not anymore.
My health is also really becoming a priority in my life, as well, and getting a full night's sleep EVERY single night is a big part of that. And I can't do that when I raid til 10:30 or 11pm and want to be up at 5am so that I can swim or go to work early enough to be out of there before my office turns into an oven (which it starts to do around 2pm). My body requires 8 hours every night.
This is not to say that I'm quitting WoW altogether. I still enjoy playing video games... and can't spend ALL my time crafting. I'm even looking forward to trying out the Star Wars Old Republic MMO. It just means that I will no longer HAVE to be glued to the computer for hours at a time on certain days of the week.
I'll be logging on tonight to talk to an officer and let them know about my decision, though I suspect that they will ask me to help them out by raiding for a few more weeks until they are able to recruit another holy priest, and because I'm nice, I will. But I won't be going 3 days a week, that's for sure.
And with that decision made, I feel a huge weight lifting itself off of my shoulders.
