Day 07 – Your best friend, in great detail

I don't really have a best friend. I haven't had one since probably junior high school? At least, I don't have one single friend that is the one person I want to tell everything to the minute it happens or anything like that.

So I'm going to take this topic and talk about friends in general. Warning... this gets long.

When I was in school, I was mostly a loner. In elementary school, I was ostracized because of few things... the fact that I was "overweight" (which in elementary school meant I weighed maybe 10-20 pounds more than I should have, but it was enough to get me teased by everyone), the fact that I had a weird last name (it's not that weird, but I'm sure you can understand how children were about anything with the word "sex" in it back in the 80s), and the fact that I lived on the other side of town from all my classmates. At least that's my perception of it. I was also shy, extremely sensitive, and as I got older, depressed. My family lived in a weird little area of town, in that while it was right smack in the middle of town, it was also isolated from the other areas. It's kinda hard to explain. My original elementary school closed down when I was 8 because of a lack of students in the area. At that point, my parents chose to send us to a school across town because they could car-pool with the family up the street, whose kids went there because it was the only french immersion school in town. Of course, a year later my sister started school and then there were too many kids to fit in the neighbour's car.

Anyways, I was one of those kids who could talk to anyone she was sitting next to, but didn't really fit in with any particular group. I was a nerd, and a music nerd at that, and generally had my nose in a book. Eventually a girl who was a year older than me moved in across the street from us, and she and I became good friends, but the 1 year age difference makes a difference when you're like 10 years old, and she also was going to the right school for our catchment area, so I didn't see her THAT much.

Anyhow, fast forward to my 20s. I spent most of my 20s without much in the way of friends. Moving to a brand new city meant I didn't know anyone, and I'm pretty darn shy and making new friends wasn't something I was very good at. I did meet a guy within a couple months of moving here, and had a boyfriend for most of the first half of my 20s, and those 2 boyfriends functioned as my best friend for the periods of time we were together. I was in the SCA off and on, but didn't really get to know anyone really well during that time.

That started changing a bit approximately 5-6 years ago. I took Mistress Rowenna's year-long cooking Ithra class, and by virtue of that, I got to know a few people from the SCA better. And then I met more people through them. Then I became Lions Gates' Mistress of Arts & Sciences. When I moved out from my ex's place, I moved back to New Westminster, and then shortly after that, one of the little local newspapers wanted to do an article on SCA artisans. As Mistress of A&S, I somehow became involved in this, and a few people ended up over at my apartment with some things they'd made, including the laurel I'm now apprenticed to, and a couple other people. And then the picture they ended up publishing was one of my show-off cat and vanagnessayem's cleavage. ::sigh:: Anyhow, during and after that interview/photo session, there was chatting, and if I recall correctly, this was the start of how I ended up involved in Holly House, which is the SCA household run by my laurel and her husband.

Since then, the amount of friends I have has grown by leaps and bounds. I wouldn't necessarily consider everyone in the household a good friend, but they're definitely all friends. There's a few I don't know very well, but everyone in the household is someone I know I can (or should be able to) trust. And through the household, I've made some really good friends - and even a couple who would probably eventually approach "best friend" status, such that it is with me.

And because I haven't gotten sappy enough, if you're still reading at this point... messages for a few local friends that I have on here (oddly enough, all of the people I was referring to in the previous page as potential best friends are on LJ and will likely read this):

To melspeth: you're like the wise older sister I never had. You're a freaking awesome mother and an awesome friend, and I don't know how you do it all. I appreciate the advice you give me SO much. I don't know if my own siblings are ever going to make me an aunt, and since I want to be Crazy Aunt Karla, I'm going to appropriate your kids as my neices and nephews and try to spoil them. :)

To songstress1973: in some ways, you and I are a lot alike, but in some ways we're quite different. We're both really stubborn, but you pull it off a lot better than I do. :) I know that once in a while we butt heads about some of my stupid ideas and stunts and while I often go ahead and screw up anyways (because sometimes the only way I learn is by screwing up first), I still have a ton of respect for you and I think you're awesome. And I'm so jealous of your singing ability.

To mirth_matter: We don't really know each other all that well yet, but I'd like to change that. There's a fairly significant age difference between us, but I think that doesn't matter much and hope you agree. I think you're really cool, the stuff you do is already really great and I can see SO MUCH potential in you for both the SCA and life in general.

To gates_apco: We don't really know each other all that well yet either, but I definitely want to change that too, especially post you-know-what. You're so much fun to geek out with! :)

To fiodior: even though we occasionally go long periods without talking, I hope you realize I still consider you a really good friend. *hugs* I'm so glad you're becoming happier within the SCA and feeling more welcomed, and I really hope that continues, and I'll help in any way I can.

To ooo_shiiiny: I really hope you do manage to move back to the Vancouver area at some point in the not too distant future because you're awesome and fun and I think we could have tons of fun geeking out about fibery stuff.

To vanagnessayem, spiceandsugar, not_justagirl, and yrsa: I don't really know any of you all that very well, beyond yapping at events and reading your LJs, but I hope that as I get certain issues worked out, get over some of my shyness and stuff, and get more involved in the SCA, that I can get to know you all better. I think you're all really awesome. :)

There's actually a whole bunch more SCA people, both local and non-local, who I'd really like to get to know better too, but they aren't on LJ.