introspection
May. 7th, 2010 08:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravnsdaughterI almost deleted my last post, and then I almost made it friends only, but then I decided that no, I shouldn't, I should confront the feelings I'm having because that's the only way I will heal.
Verdict is, I won't be selling any of my lampwork unless it's kiln-annealed.
For now, that'll be done with batch annealing at Sunlight, but I'm going to start doing research and look to getting my own small kiln in the next couple of months. In the small bit of research I've done so far, I've found one that would work for about $600, and that shouldn't be too difficult. I could actually get it now if I wanted to piss Ian off, which I don't, so I won't.
Something about the way some of the responses I got were worded totally triggered me. I'm not going to say which one(s), because I specifically don't want to point fingers at any one in particular, because this is me and my brain, not you guys. The trigger it caused was one that brought up the same type of feelings I used to have when either of my exes or my parents said something to the effect of "not good enough" (which was often).
That hasn't happened in a long time, actually, other than at work, which is simply a function of working for lawyers (who always think they're perfect when they're not, and always expect their assistants to be super-woman), so I'm used to it. I think that's why it felt so weird. It triggered a feeling of "OMG why did I even post that, I knew that was going to be the answer and now no one will believe me even if I say I'm annealing my stuff once I start selling it. I'm going to have to post a picture of my kiln once I buy it or something." Which I probably will anyways, since I'll be so thrilled when I DO get it, but anyways.
And in the meantime, Tamara's going to get lots of business from me (she's the owner of the place I buy my glass, which is where I'll also go for batch annealing). :)
Verdict is, I won't be selling any of my lampwork unless it's kiln-annealed.
For now, that'll be done with batch annealing at Sunlight, but I'm going to start doing research and look to getting my own small kiln in the next couple of months. In the small bit of research I've done so far, I've found one that would work for about $600, and that shouldn't be too difficult. I could actually get it now if I wanted to piss Ian off, which I don't, so I won't.
Something about the way some of the responses I got were worded totally triggered me. I'm not going to say which one(s), because I specifically don't want to point fingers at any one in particular, because this is me and my brain, not you guys. The trigger it caused was one that brought up the same type of feelings I used to have when either of my exes or my parents said something to the effect of "not good enough" (which was often).
That hasn't happened in a long time, actually, other than at work, which is simply a function of working for lawyers (who always think they're perfect when they're not, and always expect their assistants to be super-woman), so I'm used to it. I think that's why it felt so weird. It triggered a feeling of "OMG why did I even post that, I knew that was going to be the answer and now no one will believe me even if I say I'm annealing my stuff once I start selling it. I'm going to have to post a picture of my kiln once I buy it or something." Which I probably will anyways, since I'll be so thrilled when I DO get it, but anyways.
And in the meantime, Tamara's going to get lots of business from me (she's the owner of the place I buy my glass, which is where I'll also go for batch annealing). :)