My answers are based on attending a wedding as described in the poll without our four children. If we had our kids with us, we'd likely attend the ceremony and then go home. I'm not going to try to entertain four kids ages 1 to 10 for at least three hours away from home just to go eat dinner and maybe see our friends for a minute or two. What I would probably do is stop at a restaurant on the way home for dinner, then get my kids to bed at a reasonable time. If it was early enough, I'd have put something in the crock pot before the ceremony and we'd have a nice home-cooked meal waiting for us :)
I've been in wedding parties where there have been several hours of photography between ceremony and reception and I've been in wedding parties where it went right from one into the other, and pretty much the full spectrum between the two. I've also attended weddings that run the gamut. I have to tell you, being broke and stuck in an unfamiliar town waiting for a reception to start hours later sucks donkey balls.
Now, what really matters is having the wedding that makes both you and Ian happy. I think the idea of having one thing that you each have absolute veto power over is good - so long as you both understand the consequences of those decisions. For instance, if Ian exercised his veto power on the potluck, the consequence is that he would have to put more money from the budget into paying for food that he *does* approve of. And that would mean cutting corners elsewhere.
Trying to win him over to your way of thinking, either through bringing it up or getting your mother to talk to him about it will only smack of brow-beating and nagging and I doubt that Ian would respond well to that. Better to acheive consensus through more above-board means, as it will bode much better for your future married life.
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I've been in wedding parties where there have been several hours of photography between ceremony and reception and I've been in wedding parties where it went right from one into the other, and pretty much the full spectrum between the two. I've also attended weddings that run the gamut. I have to tell you, being broke and stuck in an unfamiliar town waiting for a reception to start hours later sucks donkey balls.
Now, what really matters is having the wedding that makes both you and Ian happy. I think the idea of having one thing that you each have absolute veto power over is good - so long as you both understand the consequences of those decisions. For instance, if Ian exercised his veto power on the potluck, the consequence is that he would have to put more money from the budget into paying for food that he *does* approve of. And that would mean cutting corners elsewhere.
Trying to win him over to your way of thinking, either through bringing it up or getting your mother to talk to him about it will only smack of brow-beating and nagging and I doubt that Ian would respond well to that. Better to acheive consensus through more above-board means, as it will bode much better for your future married life.